Once you've got an established group of regulars, you will become more and more of a confidant, leading to opportunities for advice about love. Here's our advice on the advice:
- When your customer tells you she just broke up with her guy, do not tell her, "I'm so glad you dumped that piece of shit." Chances are they will be back together by the end of the weekend.
- If a guy gets a girl's number, and wants to know if he should wait three days to call her, tell him he should have the balls to call her the next day or not at all.
- If your customer is heartbroken and crying into stacks of bar napkins, cue the coffee.
- When someone is really excited about a new love interest, be excited for them!
- Don't offer unsolicited advice.
- If one of your favorite regulars is about to hook up with one of your sluttiest regulars, then I don't know what the hell to tell you.
- If all a guy needs is a little more liquid courage to ask for the girl's number, pour it.
- When a romance is budding or breaking, serve cognac.